为您找到与英语笑话大全 爆笑带翻译相关的共202个结果:
Seth Smith was reckoned the laziest man in town. Sotired had the authorities become of contributing to his supportthat they decided to consign him to a living tomb. Accordinglyhe was prepared for burial. The hearse was an old ramshacklecountry wagon.
塞思·史密斯被公认为镇上头号懒人。长官们实在懒得 再供养他,便决定把他送进一个天然坟墓里去。于是他被准备着去埋葬,灵车是一辆摇摇晃晃的乡下旧马车。
As the strange cortege moved along some old residentasked, Who is it?
正当这列奇怪的送葬队伍在行进时,一些老街坊问道:这是谁啊?
Why, Seth Smith, who is too lazy to get anything to liveon, so we are going to bury him alive.
唉,塞思·史密斯,他懒得没法活了,我们这就去把他活埋。
I'll give him a bushel of corn, said one. And I will,said another.
我来给他一蒲式耳谷子吧,一个人说。我也给,另一个说。
Slowly raising his head, Seth asked: Is the corn shelled,neighbor?
塞思慢慢抬起头来问道:谷子脱粒了吗,街坊?
No,you must do that yourself.
没有,你得自己来。
Gently replacing his head, he said: Drive on, boys, drive on.
他缓缓把头放回原处说:接着走吧,孩子们,接着走吧。
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At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage. A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half. The crowd cheered. Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters. A hush fell in anticipation of the world's greatest swordsman.
在一场世界最佳击剑手表演中,排名第三的击剑手上场了。一只苍蝇放了出来,剑划了一个弧,他将苍蝇劈成了两半。观众欢呼起来。紧接着排名第二的人将一只苍蝇切成了四半。现场一阵沉默,人们期盼着世界上最伟大的击剑手出场。
His blade came down in a mighty arc - but the insect continued on its way! The crowd was aghast. The greatest swordsman had missed his target completely, yet he continued to smile.
他的剑锋以一个巨大的弧线划了下来--然而那只昆虫还在继续飞行!观众被惊呆了。最伟大的击剑手完全错过了他的目标,然而他还在微笑着。
Why are you so happy? someone yelled. You missed!
你为什么这么高兴?有人嚷道,你没击中!
Ah, replied the swordsman, you weren't watching very carefully. They fly lives, yes - but he will never be a father.
啊,剑手答道,你刚才没有很仔细地看。苍蝇还活着,是的--但他永远也做不成爸爸了。
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A small boy and his father were having a walk in the country when it suddenly began to rain very hard. They did not have their umbrella with them, and there was nowhere to hide from the rain, so they were soon very wet, and the small boy did not feel very happy.
一个小男孩和他的父亲正在乡间行走,突然下起了大雨。他们没带伞,加上四下无处可以躲雨,所以很快他们浑身上下被淋湿了,小男孩感到很不好受。
For a long time while they were walking home through the rain, the boy was thinking. Then at last he turned to his father and said to him, Why does it rain, Father? It isn't very nice, is it?
他们在雨中朝家走去,有好一会儿,那个男孩一直在思索着什么。后来终于他朝父亲转过脸去,问他说:爸爸,为什么天会下雨呢?下雨可不太好,是吧?
No, it isn't very nice, but it's very useful, Tom, answered his father. It rains to make the fruit and the vegetables grow for us, and to make the grass grow for the cows and sheep.
是呀,下雨是不太好,可是下雨也有很多有益的地方,汤姆。父亲回答说。老天爷下雨促使了为我们所食用的水果和蔬菜的生长,同样也促使牛羊所吃的青草的生长。
Tom thought about this for a few seconds, and then he said, Then, why does it rain on the road too, Father?
汤姆对父亲的这番话想了一会,然后说:那么,父亲,老天爷为什么还要把雨下在路上呢?
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Simon was an inveterate fisherman, well known for exaggerating the size of the one that got away. But there came a day when he actually caught two enormous flounders. He immediately invited a few friends over to dine, then tried to figure out how best to serve the fish. If I use both, he told his wife, it will seem ostentatious.
西蒙是个老练的渔夫。人们都熟知他爱吹嘘跑掉的那条鱼的尺寸。但有一天他确实抓了两条极大的比目鱼。他立刻邀请几个朋友过来吃饭,然后着力搞清楚怎样上鱼。如果两条一起上,他对妻子说,好像有点炫耀之嫌了。
Why not serve a piece of each? she suggested.
何不两条鱼各上一块呢?他妻子建议道。
No, if I cut them up, nobody will believe I caught two giant flounders. Simon racked his brain. Then he had an idea.
不行,如果把两条鱼都切碎了,就不会有人相信我抓了两条大比目鱼了。西蒙绞尽了脑汁,终于想出了一个好办法。
The guests were seated at the table when their host strode in with a platter, holding the biggest flounder they'd ever seen. Suddenly Simon stumbled and fell. Everyone cried out in dismay as the fish crashed to the floor, but Simon quickly brushed himself off.
客人已在餐桌边就座完毕,这时主人大步地走进来,手里端着一个托盘,托盘上是一个他们所见过的最大的比目鱼。突然西蒙被什么东西绊了一下摔倒了。所有的人都惊慌地叫了起来,因为鱼在地板上摔得粉碎。但是西蒙迅速地摆脱了窘境。
Dear, he called out to his wife, bring in the other flounder!
亲爱的,他对妻子喊道,把另一条鱼端上来!
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The doctor finally reached his table at a dinner, after breaking away from a woman who sought advice on a health problem.
Do you think I should send her a bill? the doctor asked a lawyer who sat next to him.
Why not? the lawyer replied. You rendered professional services by giving advice.
大夫在打发走了一个就健康问题向他咨询的妇女之后,最后来到餐桌上。
你认为我应该向她收费吗?大夫问坐在身边的一个律师。
有什么不应该?律师答道,你通过提建议提供了职业性服务。
Thanks, the physician said. I think I'll do that.
When the doctor went to his office the next day to send the bill to the woman, he found a letter from the lawyer. It read:
For legal services, $50.
谢谢,大夫说道,看来我得这么做。
第二天当大夫去办公室给那位妇女写账单时,他收到律师的一封信。信中写道:
请付法律服务费50美元。
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Two soldiers were in camp. The first one's name was George, and the second one's name was Bill. George said, have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?
Bill said, Yes, I have, and he gave them to him.
Then George said, Now I haven't got a pen. Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, have you got a stamp, Bill? Bill gave him one.
军营里有二名士兵,一个叫乔治,一个叫比尔。乔治问:比尔,你有信纸、信封吗?
比尔说:有。然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。
乔治又说:我还没有笔呢。比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里,又问:比尔,你有邮票吗?比尔给了他一张。
Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, Are you going out?
Bill Said, Yes, I am, and he opened the door.
这时比尔站起来,向门口走去。乔治问:你要出去吗?
比尔说:是的。随即打开了门。
George said, Please put my letter in the box in the office, and... He stopped.
What do you want now? Bill said to him.
George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, What's your girl-friend's address?
这时比尔站起来,向门口走去。乔治问:你要出去吗?
比尔说:是的。随即打开了门。
乔治说:请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里,还有...他停住了。
你还要什么?比尔问。
乔治看着信封说:你女朋友的地址是?
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A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan.
一个家伙正在看报纸,他的妻子走到他身后,用一只煎锅敲他的后脑勺。
He asks, What was that for?
他问道:这是为什么?
She says, I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written on it.
她说:我在你口袋里发现了一张写有‘Betty Sue’的纸条。
He says, Jeez, honey, 'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I bet on. She shrugs and walks away.
他说:哎呀,亲爱的,‘Betty Sue’是我赌的那匹马的名字。
Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan.
她耸了耸肩,走了。 三天后他正在看报纸,妻子走到他身后,又用一只煎锅敲他的后脑勺。
He asks, What was that for?
他问:这又是为什么?
She answers, Your horse called.
她答道:你的马打电话来了。
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A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.
″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson.
″Makes no difference? ″replied customer.
″What color﹖″ asked the clerk.
一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。
“您是要布的还是皮的?”售货员问。
“没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。
“那您要什么颜色的呢?”售货员又问。
″Any?″ he responded.
″Size﹖″
″Give me whatever you prefer?″ the gentleman said? slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″
“什么颜色都成。”他回答。
“号码呢?”
“您就随便给我拿一副吧,”这位顾客有点不耐烦了,“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”
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An old couple went into a restaurant and ordered something to eat: one Coca Cola and one portion of French fries. The old man sat down and the woman, his wife, sat opposite him, and he began to divide the Coca Cola into two glasses, half for him and half for his wife.
有一对老夫妇到速食店去,叫了一罐可乐和一份薯条。然后他们面对面坐下来,那位老先生先把可乐分成两杯,一杯给他自己,另一杯给他太太。
He divided all the French fries half-and-half. He gave half to his wife and kept half for himself. Then he began to eat and drink,and the woman just drank but didn't eat.
接着他又将薯条分成两份,一份给他太太、一份给自己。然后他开始吃薯条、喝可乐,但是他的太太只是喝可乐,不吃薯条。
There was a young man who was standing next to the table and wondering why the old man had divided everything in half, and he thought that maybe they didn't have any money. He said to the old couple, "Okay, I can buy you one more portion; you don't have to share like that."
一个年轻人刚好站在旁边,看到老先生把每样食物都分成两半,觉得很奇怪,他想或许他们没有钱,便跟老夫妇说:‘我可以再买一份给你们,你们就不用这样分了。’
So the old man explained, "No, no, no, we have been married for forty years and we always share everything. Whatever we have, we share half and half. Don't worry, but thank you, anyhow."
老先生解释说:‘不、不!我们结婚四十年了,一直都是分享每件事物,什么东西都是一个人分一半。不用担心我们,不过还是谢谢你的好意。
But then after a while, he saw that the woman wasn't eating eat, and only the man ate, and he asked, "Why aren't you eating?" And the wife said, "Today it's his turn to use the teeth."
过了一会儿,他看只有老先生吃着薯条,老太太没吃,便问老太太:‘你为什么都不吃呢?’老太太说:‘今天轮到他用牙齿。’
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A peddler sold earthen basins in the wayside, he chanted as knocked:" Earthen basin is round, beautiful and solid, judging by the sound, they are all good." At the time of his knocking, that earthen basin was broken into pieces with a crack.
一个小贩在路边卖瓦盆,他一边敲一边唱:“瓦盆圆又圆,结实又好看,光听这声音,就知不一般。”敲着敲着,“啪啦”一声,把盆敲烂了。
Lookers-on burst into the roars of laughter. He threw the fragments without extra trouble into paddy fiel(稻田) , but an experienced peasant from the crowd did not let him off easily:" How the deuce can you throw them into my field? They'll impede(阻碍) my growing crops!"
围观的人一阵哄笑。他顺手把碎片扔进了稻田里,谁知人群中一个老农不干了:“你怎么能往我地里扔?这不影响我种田吗?”
The peddler who sold earthen basins tried to explain it away promptly:" Nothing, the fragments will be converted into powder as soon as they absorbed water ."
卖瓦盆的小贩连忙辩解:“不要紧,瓦片见水一会儿就粉了。”
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Bogota, Colombia - Police in the northeastern Colombian city of Arauca said Tuesday that they had detained a donkey named Pacho after a motorcyclist crashed into the animal and suffered serious injuries. "When there are road accidents and serious injuries, the vehicles involved are always impounded," said Diana Rojas, spokeswoman for the Arauca city police department. "We had to impound both the donkey and the motorcycle and put them at the disposal of investigators so they can decide what to do with them and whether to release them," she said.
哥伦比亚首都波哥大市:周二,哥伦比亚东北部阿劳卡市的警方说,一个骑摩托车的人撞上了一头驴子而且受了重伤,他们已拘留了这头名叫帕奇欧的驴子。“当发生交通事故并有人受重伤时,事故所涉及车辆都要被扣留,”阿劳卡市警方的女发言人狄阿娜-罗哈斯说道,“我们不得不把驴子和摩托车都扣了,将它们交给调查人员处理,以便他们可以决定如何处置以及是否释放它们。”
Pacho’s owner, Nelson Gonz lez, said no one should blame the donkey for Sunday’s crash. "Neither the donkey nor I were responsible because I was in front and the motorcyclist saw me," Gonzalez told RCN television.
帕奇欧的主人纳尔逊-岗萨雷兹说,不该把上周日发生的碰撞事故归咎于那头驴子。“驴子和我都没有责任,因为我当时是在前面,摩托车手看见我了。”岗萨雷兹对RCN电视台的记者说。
The motorcyclist remained in the hospital on Tuesday. The donkey, whose legs were hurt in the crash, is being held at a pound in Arauca till the investigation is concluded.
摩托车手周二时还在医院里,而那头驴子的腿在事故中也受了伤,目前它被关在阿劳卡市的动物待领所,直到调查结束它才能被放出来。
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It’s sunny day in spring. Miss Cat is fishing.
这是春天里一个阳光明媚的日子,猫小姐在河边钓鱼。
Suddenly the fishing rod moves. “Great! Oh, it’s so heavy!” Miss Cat says happily.
突然鱼竿动了动。“太棒了!哇,好重啊!”猫小姐高兴地喊着。
The fish is plucked out of the river. “Oh, a big fish! How big the fish is!” She cheers.
鱼被拉出来了。“啊!一条大鱼!这条大鱼可真大呀!”她欢呼道。
But she puts the fish into the river and goes on fishing.
但是她却把鱼放回河里,又继续钓鱼。
At the time, Mr. House goes by and sees it. “What do you set it free?” He asks.
这时候马先生路过,看见这一切,就问她:“为什么你把鱼放了?”
“Because my pot is too small. I can’t cook it,” Miss Cat says.
“因为我的锅太小。我没办法烧这么大的鱼。”猫小姐回答说。
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A woman walks into a pet shop and sees a cute little dog. She asks the shopkeeper, “Does your dog bite?”
一个妇人走进一家宠物店,看见一只很可爱的小狗。她问店主:“你的狗咬人吗?”
The shopkeeper says, “No, my dog does not bite.”
店主说:“不,我的狗不咬人。”
The woman tries to pet the dog and the dog bites her.
于是这个妇人试着抚摸小狗,可是小狗却咬了她。
“Ouch!” She says, “I thought you said your dog does not bite!”
“哎哟!”妇人说,“我想你刚才还说你的狗不咬人。”
The shopkeeper replies, “That is not my dog!”
店主人回答说:“那不是我的狗。”
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语笑话大全,欢迎大家阅读!
Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimede's principle of water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when he got into a pool at the public bathhouse, the water rose spilling over the edge. Excited at his discovery, he ran down the street yelling, "Eureka, eureka!" The instructor asked if anyone knew what that meant.
One student stood up and answered, "I'm naked ! I'm naked!"
我们的物理教授千方百计引导我们讨论阿基米德的排水原理。他告诉我们阿基米德去公共浴池洗澡,他进入池子,发现水涨高了,溢出池沿。他对这一发现十分激动,跑到街上高叫:“Eureka,Eureka!”教授问我们谁知道他喊的是什么意思。
一个学生站起来答道:“我光屁股啦,我光屁股啦!”
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考研英语2024备考复习技巧
考研英语分为英语一,英语二。考研英语一和英语二的题型都有英语知识运用、阅读理解和写作。以下是小编为大家收集的关于考研英语2024备考复习技巧的相关内容,供大家参考!
1、考研英语二的总考试时长是180分钟。
2、第一部分的20个选择题,可以安排20分钟。
3、第二部分的A节安排75分钟,B节安排25分钟。预计总时长是100分钟。
4、第三部分的英译汉,安排20分钟。
5、第四部分的Part A安排15分钟,Part B安排25分钟。预计总时长是40分钟。
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硕士研究生考研英语完型填空题及答案(2024)
为了让考研的同学更高效地复习考研英语,小编考研频道已经整理出了2024年考研英语完型填空试题和答案。如果你正在准备考研,不妨了解一下这些资料,希望它们能对你的备考有所帮助。
考研的考场分配根据考生的所在地以及报考学校等进行安排,在职人员考研时,考场一般都会分配在户籍所在地或工作单位所在地。
考研报考同一学校的考生理论上是分配在一个考点,甚至是同一考场的。考研报考同一学校的相同专业和不同专业是一起考试的。因为考研的考点、考场分配是实行统一管理,采取统一分配的原则,便于管理。
考研考场还有另外的分配方法,是划分考研的考场、考点时先按照各省、各市进行统一划分,然后是按照学校进行划分,再次是按照专业进行划分。
总之就是考研考场怎么分配对于考生的影响不大,考生只需要按照准考证所指示的前往指定考点进行考试即可,并且携带相关证件。
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